I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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