K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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