im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
