Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize