So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
