We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
