What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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