There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize