i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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