Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
