Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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