Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
