we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize