you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Sacagawea was the original milf.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
as a side note pls kill me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
