Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
