I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
