Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
