can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
