i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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