Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
