Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
