Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize