So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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