i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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