And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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