hotel room ftw
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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