Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
