haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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