I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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