There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
