Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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