i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
