Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
