i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
