i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
