so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
