Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
