I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
