Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
