Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
