I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
