Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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