I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
