He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think my vagina is haunted
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
