The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
