Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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