I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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