well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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