I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize