VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
