Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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