I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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