i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
