Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
