Ambien. No doubt about it.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize