You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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