like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
