the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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