I just pynch a tree in the face
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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