You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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