My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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