i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
