He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
