Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
